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Sponsorship Questions and answers on sponsorship
When we speak of sponsorship in Gamblers Anonymous we mean the opportunity of the "older", more experienced member to help another compulsive gambler to achieve the Gamblers Anonymous Program. We also mean the responsibility of the Group as a whole for helping a member. This responsibility is unwritten and informal, but it is the heart of Gamblers Anonymous approach to achieving a normal way of life through the Twelve Steps. It is a responsibility that stems from a very real need -- the need for our avoiding making that first bet. We know from experience that we become strengthened when we share what we have with others who may need and ask for help. The concept of sponsorship dates back to the earliest days of our Fellowship. As newcomers were attracted to the Gamblers Anonymous Program, a man or a woman who had already grasped the Program became the new member's sponsor. The older member shared his or her own experience, tried to help the new member over the rough spots by answering questions, and arranged for them to get to Gamblers Anonymous meetings and meet other members. In many successful groups, sponsorship has become one of the most important planned activities of the members. Various patterns of sponsorship activities are outlined on the following pages. How does sponsorship differ from twelfth step activity? Twelfth Step Work -- calling on a compulsive gambler who has asked for help and telling them about the Gamblers Anonymous Program -- can be considered the beginning of sponsorship. Obviously, sponsorship and continuing interest in another compulsive gambler can only develop when the second person is willing to be helped, when they have accepted the fact that they are compulsive gamblers and have made a decision to seek a way out of their dilemma. Sponsorship differs from the initial contacts known as Twelfth Step Work in that it involves a continuing responsibility and interest in helping the new member adjust to a way of life without gambling. How does sponsorship help the newcomer? It assures the newcomer that there is at least one specific person who understands the problem fully and to whom they can turn without embarrassment when doubts, questions or problems linked to their gambling arises. Sponsorship also provides the newcomer with an understanding, sympathetic friend when he or she needs one most. How does sponsorship help the older member? It helps the older member by demonstrating the satisfaction that comes from assuming responsibility for someone other than himself or herself. In a very real sense, sponsorship fills the need, felt by human beings, to help others "over the rough spots". Sponsorship strengthens the older member. In some mysterious manner, the act of sharing the Fellowship seems to make it easier for a member to live with gambling. By helping others, once self-centered compulsive gamblers find that they help themselves. Complacency is avoided if older members can see more clearly the continuing problems gambling provides. How does sponsorship help a Gamblers Anonymous Group? The primary purpose of a Gamblers Anonymous Group is to carry the message of the Recovery Program to compulsive gamblers who want and request help. Group meetings are one way in which the purpose is advanced. Sponsorship is another, often more direct approach to the same problem. The concept of sponsorship can be broadened to include working with compulsive gamblers in institutions and through correspondence with isolated "lone members". Sponsorship helps keep more members active. What do sponsors do? Sponsors do everything they can, within the limits of their experience and capacity, to help a new member achieve and maintain the Program by following the Twelve Suggested Steps of Recovery. They demonstrate by their own example and story what Gamblers Anonymous has meant for them. They encourage and assist the newcomer to attend a variety of Gamblers Anonymous meetings for the purpose of obtaining a number of viewpoints and interpretations of the Gamblers Anonymous Program. They encourage the newcomer to keep an "open mind" on Gamblers Anonymous if not at first convinced that they are a compulsive gambler. They introduce the newcomer to other members. They make themselves available for counsel and guidance when the newcomer feels he or she has special problems. They review the importance of the Twelve Suggested Steps. They impress on the newcomer the importance of the tradition of personal anonymity and the significance of other Gamblers Anonymous traditions. They explain the Gamblers Anonymous Program to re1atives of the newcomer, if the procedure appears to be useful, explaining how the newcomer can contribute to his or her loved one's success in the Recovery Program. Finally, they encourage the newcomer to work with other compulsive gamblers themselves, as soon as he or she is ready and willing to do so. In all of their relationships with a newcomer, sponsors attempt to keep uppermost in their minds the fact that it is the Recovery Program, not the sponsor's personal talent or position that is important. They should attend Pressure Relief Group Meetings but not be the Chairperson. Are there definite sponsorship techniques? Each member is free to approach sponsorship as his or her own experience and personality may suggest. Some sponsors adopt a "take it or leave it" approach with newcomers. Others exhibit extreme patience and personal interest in those they are sponsoring. Still others are somewhat casual, content to let the new member take the initiative in asking questions and seeking help in special situations. Each approach has been successful. Each fails occasionally. Only the sponsor can decide which will be most effective in a particular case. The experienced sponsor knows the importance of flexibility in working with newcomers. The sponsor avoids depending on a single approach and may try a number of different ones with the same person. Can a sponsor be too firm with a new member? Some sponsors believe in being firm with a new member. They describe the Gamblers Anonymous Program, as they understand it. They explain what it has meant to them. They point out that there is no known "cure" for compulsive gambling, but that it appears to be a form of illness that can be arrested. Having done these things, they leave the next move up to the new member. If a still-gambling individual does not reach an immediate decision to join Gamblers Anonymous, this type of sponsor does not usually proceed. This approach is not totally unsympathetic. Many members respect it and recognize it as an attempt to be completely factual about Gamblers Anonymous and to avoid emotional overtones. The Gamblers Anonymous Program is based on certain tested principles, which newcomers disregard at their own risk. Most "older" members may recognize however, that an excess of firmness may disturb a newcomer, so they try to temper it with understanding and sympathy. Can a sponsor be over-protective? In their anxiety to help a newcomer in the Program, some sponsors may tend to be "over-protective". They worry unduly about the persons they sponsor and smother them with attention. In doing so, they can run the risk of having a newcomer depend too much on an individual member, rather than on the Gamblers Anonymous Program. The most effective sponsors recognize that newcomers must eventually stand on their own two feet and make their own decisions and that there is a difference between helping someone to their feet and insisting on holding them up thereafter. "Over-protectiveness" may also annoy newcomers to the point where they resent the attempts to help them and may turn away from Gamblers Anonymous. Can a sponsor be too casual? Some sponsors prefer to spend time with newcomers if they ask for it, but rarely take the time or trouble to call them between meetings, or help them get to meetings. If a newcomer is inclined to be timid or reserved by nature, he or she may conclude that the Group and the sponsor are not interested in helping him or her. Many present members say they did not make a firm decision to adopt the Gamblers Anonymous Program until months or years after their first contact with Gamblers Anonymous, simply because they were allowed to drift away from the Group. How can sponsors explain the Gamblers Anonymous Program? Sponsors will want to explain Gamblers Anonymous in the manner that is most natural for them. Experience suggests that it is generally more realistic not to expect the newcomer to absorb the Gamblers Anonymous Program in its entirety during their first few meetings. Many sponsors stress the fact that Gamblers Anonymous has one primary purpose -- to help compulsive gamblers arrest their gambling. They remind the newcomer that the First Suggested Step, the admission that they are a compulsive gambler and their life has become unmanageable, is the key to the Program and that many Gamblers Anonymous members base their success largely on acceptance of this First Step. They emphasize that Gamblers Anonymous offers a practical program that works. They underscore the fact that only the new member can decide whether or not Gamblers Anonymous can help. Nearly all members who work with newcomers interpret the Gamblers Anonymous Program in terms of their own personal experience, assuring newcomers that no one is a spokesperson for Gamblers Anonymous and that they are perfectly free to develop their own concept and interpretation of the Program, if they so desire. Some sponsors place more stress on the spiritual side of the Program than others. Nearly all direct the attention of newcomers to the fact that in Gamblers Anonymous the concept of a "Power greater than ourselves" is one which people of any faith -- or no faith -- can and do accept with complete harmony. The satisfactory interpretation of the Gamblers Anonymous Program it would appear is that which the newcomers develops themselves on the basis of reading Gamblers Anonymous literature, attendance at meetings and discussions with other members. How should a sponsor deal with "slips?" It can be discouraging to work with a newcomer, see him or her grasp the Program for a period of time and then see the newcomer have a relapse or slip and start gambling again. The sponsor may be tempted to consider the member "ungrateful". The sponsor may even be tempted to "give up" on the newcomer. The newcomer may be equally discouraged and bewildered; he or she may find it very difficult to face facts honestly to analyze what led to the slip and to return to the Fellowship for a fresh start. This is a time for self-searching for both sponsor and sponsored. One of the mysteries of Gamblers Anonymous is why some grasp the Program immediately and hold it securely, while others stumble before the Recovery Program becomes meaningful to them. "Older" members know from experience that it is unwise to predict which newcomers will have trouble remaining on the Program and which will not. Most individuals and groups emphasize to a newcomer that he or she will continue to be welcome in Gamblers Anonymous. Successful sponsorship depends to a large degree on the understanding and sympathy that the individual and group offer to a member who may have one or more slips despite the effort to "make" the Program. How can a sponsor work with a newcomer's family? A sponsor can explain the Gamblers Anonymous Program to a wife, husband or relative. The sponsor can point out that most members have found it easier to make the transition to a life without gambling when their family took an interest in Gamblers Anonymous. In general, the sponsor can encourage the newcomer's family to give the newcomers chance to make good in Gamblers Anonymous regardless of the number of times he or she may have failed in previous attempts to stop gambling. The sponsor will also let the family know of the existence of Gam-Anon for relatives of compulsive gamblers who may or may not be in Gamblers Anonymous. Should a sponsor lend money to a newcomer? Gamblers Anonymous has but one primary purpose: to help the compulsive gambler recover from his or her gambling problem. Gamblers Anonymous is not a philanthropic or job-finding society. This does not mean that the newcomer who turns to Gamblers Anonymous for money, clothes or employment is coming to the wrong place for the wrong things. Gamblers Anonymous does offer newcomers the most important thing they need: recovery from a gambling problem and return to a normal way of thinking and living. Money or lack of it has never been a key factor in an individual's ability to remain in the Program. It is suggested that money not be lent to a newcomer nor money borrowed from a newcomer. How can a sponsor work with a newcomer who rejects help? In such cases, there is little a sponsor can do except to assure the new member of the willingness to help when and if needed. It may be helpful to introduce the newcomer to an "older" Gamblers Anonymous member who may share more of the newcomer's background and interests than the original sponsor does. Sponsorship is flexible and sponsors themselves are flexible in working with new people. It is just as much a mistake to force unwanted help on a newcomer, as it is to refuse to help. Can a newcomer change sponsors? Of course, in fact, an effort should be made to expose a newcomer to as many older members as possible to give the new member an opportunity to select the sponsor with whom he or she feels most comfortable and who can be most helpful to him or her in Gamblers Anonymous. Is time in the Program a factor in sponsorship? The most successful sponsors are men and women who have been in Gamblers Anonymous long enough to acquire a mature understanding of the Recovery Program outlined in the Twelve Steps. The "older" member is usually, but not always, able to work more effectively with newcomers than the member who has been in the Program for only a few weeks. Time is a factor, but not the only factor, in successful sponsorship. Of equal importance is an individual's capacity for understanding and patience, willingness to devote time and effort to the new member and his or her own personal example as a representative of how Gamblers Anonymous works. Can any member be a sponsor? There is no class of sponsors in Gamblers Anonymous. Any member can help to advance the basic concept of sponsorship, which is to help the new member make the sometimes-difficult transition to a life without gambling in any form. Can a member sponsor more than one new member at the same time? Members differ in their capacity to handle sponsorship and the time they have to devote to this activity. The member who is willing and able to sponsor several new members simultaneously should certainly not be discouraged. At the same time, it should be kept in mind that sponsorship is, in a sense, a privilege to be shared by as many members as possible. The member who does too much sponsorship work to the exclusion of others in the Fellowship may jeopardize his or her own recovery if the member becomes over-confident about his or her personal talents in this field. As in so many areas of Gamblers Anonymous activity, common sense is the best guide. Most present members of Gamblers Anonymous owe their lives today to the fact that someone else took a special interest in them and was willing to share a great gift with them -- the way of living they had learned through the Fellowship of Gamblers Anonymous. |
